Hit the panic button
You get a private room and a real conversation with Cyrs. Together, you map the impact across work, friends, sponsors, and platform rules.
Human-led reputation management • Cyrs online
When your post goes supernova, call Cyrs.
Retard Insurance is direct, personal reputation management for people and teams whose posts got complicated. Cyrs works with you one-on-one—from everyday cleanup to full crisis response—on every plan.
Cyrs: online
Direct guidance: every plan
Neon pets: moral support
Personal reputation management, step by step
Your reputation, managed.
Cyrs stays directly involved: assessing the situation with you, shaping the response, and helping manage what happens next.
Make it right, gently
Cyrs helps draft concise outreach, thoughtful “own-it” statements, and humor-forward options that do not pour gasoline on the discourse.
Build the comeback arc
Cyrs stays with you through cleanup, follow-up, monitoring, and a practical content plan designed to rebuild trust over time.
Meet the human layer
Cyrs. An actual human.
Cyrs is a real, live person—not a bot, persona, or neon animal. Every plan includes direct access to Cyrs’s judgment and support.
Talk to a person
Explain what happened in your own words. Cyrs will help you decide what to say, what not to say, and what deserves attention first.
Build the response together
You are not handed a template and wished good luck. Messaging, timing, tone, and platform strategy are worked through with you personally.
Manage the whole recovery
From small flare-ups to lasting repair, Cyrs helps monitor the response, protect relationships, and guide your reputation forward.
Human support starts at Associate
Reputation management for every blast radius.
Every plan includes direct, personal guidance from Cyrs. Higher tiers expand speed, scope, and organizational coverage—not whether a human shows up.
The human promise: Associate is not self-serve. Cyrs personally supports your reputation on every tier, from a simple reply check to a full-scale recovery.
Associate
$249/mo
The simplest plan, still fully human: personal reputation guidance for everyday posts, replies, and small flare-ups.
- Direct guidance from Cyrs
- Hands-on response review
- Personal reputation check-ins
Senior
$499/mo
More responsive personal support for bigger audiences, sharper stakes, and calendars with “statement review” on them.
- Everything in Associate
- Priority access to Cyrs
- Ongoing reputation monitoring
Enterprise
Custom
Human-led reputation management for teams whose group chats have subcommittees and brand guidelines.
- Direct team access to Cyrs
- Multi-brand response coverage
- Executive and team guidance
Governance
Custom
Personal guidance plus organizational guardrails for teams ready to manage reputation before the next hot take ships.
- Human-led policy design
- Risk and response frameworks
- Live crisis simulations
Giga
Let’s talk
For blast radii visible from space. Cyrs clears the calendar and personally runs point.
- Cyrs on incident command
- White-glove reputation recovery
- Maximum blast-radius coverage
Join the human reputation desk.
Drop your email. Cyrs will let you know when direct, personal reputation support opens up.
Already in live fire?
Email support@retardinsurance.com with the link and a two-sentence summary. Cyrs will set up a private room and respond personally ASAP.